Candy's Blog

I recently had one of those days where I wanted to do it all…and I did..and I loved it! It was 12:00 pm I met with the CEO and COO of a company I will be training and consulting with this year. So I took great notes, did my research, wore my conservative “meet with executives” clothes and had a great meeting, finished at 1:30 pm. At 2:30 pm I changed into my snow boots, hat, gloves and snow pants… it was time to sled ride with 3 year old Corban and 2 year old Paxton….WOO HOO!!!!! At 3:30 pm we had our hot chocolate and marshmallows and had a debrief session about how much fun we had. We had a blast. It was 5:00 pm and I had to be at a speaking gig by 6:30 pm to speak about generational differences in the work place and how to work with four generations in one organization. I changed into my fairly conservative clothes…with a flair, got my books, handouts, toys and notes I was good to go!

On this day I did the three things I love the most consult, PLAY and speak. This was the perfect day. So…multi-tasking good or bad? I believe if you are doing the things which bring you joy, laughter and fulfillment…I think multi-tasking is good as long as you are not too stretched. Multi-tasking is bad when you go from one task to another that you dislike and they cause you stress, unhappiness and anxiety. Bottom-line….YOUR CHOICE!

We crack me up! Who’s “We”? WOMEN! I’ve really been paying attention lately to all the regiment, we go through, no…the PAIN we go through to beautify, maintain, add to, take away from our looks.
Let me give you some observations. I’m sitting in the chair waiting to receive my pedicure and I start observing women sticking their feet in this thick goo! I watch their faces and they are contorted, red and tight. I ask my gal what the goo was that was making these ladies look like they were in excruciating pain?! It was a a big container of HOT WAX! This is to make your feet soft and suple. WHATEVER! It’s hot, it hurts, but we do it!The story goes on…I hear the pedicurist ask the lady “Is it too hot?” The client through gritted teeth and white knuckles said, “No….I’m fine, do the other one.” I couldn’t stop myself, I busted out laughing. WOMEN…the things we do!

The very next day as I was telling my hair stylist about the hot wax story she proceeds to place HOT WAX on my upper lip…yes I have a little issue…give me a break I’m human. OUCH! I know, a little revealing, but a fact of life. WOMEN…the things we do!

My final observation and on a serious note, but still funny. As I’m writing this blog post, long hand, I am sitting in the waiting room of the oncology section of the hospital with my mother-in-law. She has breast cancer and is waiting to get a mastectomy. The wait is long and grueling as many women know. What do you think she talks about? Not, losing her breast or if the cancer has spread, chemo, radiation or recovery. I will never forget what she DID say, “I have a hair appointment on Wednesday, I have a friend taking me because they said I can’t drive.” Her hair! She is having her breast removed today, which by the way is MONDAY! I’m sure her thought was I WILL HAVE MY HAIR DONE, BREAST OR NO BREAST! WOMEN…the things we do!

Women….you got to love us! We are happy, joyful, soulful, giving and most of all BEAUTIFUL!

P.S. I wanted to wait and post this during breast cancer awareness month. My mother-in-law found the cancer during her yearly exam. Get your yearly mammogram!
P.S.S. Marian is her name and she is doing fabulous! She will be golfing again before she knows it. And….her hair looks marvelous!

My two favorite groups who do great work:http://ww5.komen.org/ and http://www.backintheswing.org/

WOW!  I just returned from Indianapolis IN, I spoke at the Indianapolis SHRM.  While I was there I got to stay with my high school friend and locker partner Laura Borders.  Laura owns and runs the Spice Challenge Course in Indianapolis. http://spicechallenge.com/  When you go to the site you will see what I did!  I did the Canopy Tour….ziplining!  Did I get out of my comfort zone?  You bet!  Not as much as some of the others.  Three of the women who went with me…are you ready….were afraid of heights.  Now those of you who know me know I can be a pretty good motivator, I cheer everybody on!  This was the loudest and longest I had to cheer.  These ladies were SCARED! But..they did it.  There were screams, laughter and even tears.  I call it exhilaration!  We not only had fun we flew out of our comfort zone.

I’m not saying you have to go to this extent (but you should).  I’m saying DO SOMETHING that makes you uncomfortable.  It is the most freeing thing you can do for yourself.  Now…I got to go and figure out my next adventure!!!  What are you going to do to get of your comfort zone?  Woo! Hoo!

As I was preparing for my upcoming SHRM Conferences in Georgia, Indianapolis, Texas, Nebraska and NewJersey I was thinking about creativity since that’s what most of the SHRM clients want!  So I remembered an article I wrote a while back but I still use this technique…enjoy!

 Once when I was a kid, my neighborhood friends and I were bored, and we wanted to play something the whole group could play.  We had access to a big field by an old house.  We had a bat, no baseball, but a rubber kickball.  Did that stop us?  No.  This was the best baseball game we ever played!  When we hit that rubber ball it soared, and we could throw the ball at the base runner to make an out.  You can’t do that with a baseball!  Little did we know how creative we were being.  That’s not all, we went one step further.  We believed that three bases were too boring, so we made six bases, plus home!  We played until dark. 

What do children do about obstacles?  They create, they invent, they change, and they play.  Stop and think for a moment about your childhood and how creative you were with those obstacles. One study showed that about 2 percent of all adults are creative, 10 percent of 7-year-olds are creative and 90 percent of all 5-year-olds are creative.  What does this say?  As adults we tend to push back our creativity and our childhood playfulness.  You can get it back and take advantage of it in your organization.  Use your obstacles to your benefit to be a more creative leader.

The best way that you can get those creative juices flowing is by laughter.  When is the last time you laughed at work?  I mean a deep-down belly laugh, either at yourself or with others.   Researchers have found that children under the age of 7 years old laugh on the average 100 times a day.  Adults laugh 3-4 times a day.  According to a study by the University of Minnesota, the top children in intelligence and social skills from grades 4-8 had the best sense of humor.  How do you get that sense of humor and laughter back?  In my Creativity Day Camp for Leaders, I use a technique I call the ABC Game to help cultivate an environment of humor and laughter and to initiate creative and innovative ideas.  I use it in brainstorming sessions.

Here’s how:

In one of my leadership sessions, I ask my participants to brainstorm about how to overcome mistakes leaders make in their organizations, such as “lack of communication in the workplace” or “doesn’t create a positive work climate.”  I break the participants into small groups of 5-10, assign one group the letters A-M and the next group N-Z.  The ideas have to start with the letters assigned. If you have more than two groups, just repeat the letter assignments.  I sit back and watch many different ideas come from each group.  The ABC Game stretches their brains to new, more creative ideas beyond their belief.

Example:

Always let the staff know of any changes.

Be sure communication is timely.

Catch someone doing something good and tell them.

Days without communication are days of missed ideas.       

E-mail will work in some cases.

Friendly environment.

Give someone a thank you note.

Have an open door policy.

Is not a letter in TEAM!

Just do it!

Knowledge.

Laughter.

Make your team aware of change

Do you really know what your managers and employees are thinking or how they feel?  Even if what they feel or think is not true (in your mind) the thoughts and feelings are THEIR persepective.

I’ve recently been working closley with a few organizations and I have to tell you….it has been an eye opener.  I decided, along with my content in my sessions, I would add a survey.  This survey is done via email and is sent to my managers and supervisours to give them a chance to vent anonymously.   So far….my upper management and CEO’s have been a little surprised.  I have also found that my managers and supervisors are a little relunctant at first to email me there responses.  But once they get started….well things just come out! 

I ask my managers to be open and honest because they may assume that the upper management team already knows what is going on, but I tell them, they don’t always know and many times, at least in my experience, are shocked when they hear the feedback.  So food for thought upper management, HR and CEO’s…my two questions are:

1. What is one major discplinary problem you would like solved? or What are one or two Executive Team issues you would like to see resolved (personal or professional)?
2. What is one policy or process you would like to see changed or altered?

After the survey questions are answered and revealed are all the issues resolved?  Absolutely not!  But here is what I have learned with working with so many organizations big and small, the managers at least got to be heard and the upper management and CEO’s are informed.  It’s called communication!  Some issues have actuallybeen easily solved.

I understand that many of my organizations I work with are going through major changes and cut-backs but you still have to stay in touch with your people.  I challenge upper management to open themselves up and find out EXACTLYwhat their people are thinking and feeling…you may be shocked too…but you may be pleasantly surprised! 

Let me know how your questions worked!

Corban, 3 years old:  Morning-caught dumping his brand new bubbles in the back yard after playing with them for two minutes. Noon-decided that throwing rocks at his favorite Grammy, me, was great sport!  Afternoon- Corban started pushing his little one year old brother down for no apparent reason.

The change–new little brother to share mom and dad with, share toys, and share food.  Not happy, no choices, going to rebel.

Joe Corporate, 40 years old: Morning- caught dumping an important document in the trash to slow down his departmental change.  Noon-decided to throw the stapler across the room when he received the news that the organization will be changing to a new software.  Afternoon-Joe started pushing down his subordinates with harsh degrading comments because he is not happy with the changes his boss has passed down.

The change–new boss, new polices.  Not happy, no choices, going to rebel!

Looks the same?  Hmmmmmm.

Sometimes we handle change just like we did when we were 3!  Wrong?  Right?  It just is.  But..as adults, who by the way, are lucky to have jobs in this economy, we need to find other alternatives besides dumping, throwing and pushing.  Here are a few pointers for next time:

1. Know when your emotions are climbing and take a break, breath and ask why do I feel like this.  Note: sometimes when you drill down and ask “why” 5 times you will get to the real answer.
2. Take another breath and quickly write down your frustrations.  P.S. that breathing thing works…I taught it to the 3 year old:) “Breath in and blow it out hard!”
3. Quit dwelling on the organizational change and shift your thinking to “What are the possibilites or positives to this change?” Some easy examples to this question:    

• I still have a job.
• I will learn how to do something new. 
• I’m learning to control my emotions during change. 
• Oh yeah!  I still have a job!

Stress buster question:  What do you do to de-stress in times of emotional distress or change?

The advantages of constructive conflict are: new ideas arise, team members gain a better understanding of others ideas, new ideas may surface from all the other ideas discussed, and basic assumptions are analyzed and debated by members.

When I present conflict management during my Executive Retreats or Emotional Intelligence presentations I always emphasize the importance of listening and being open to other ideas.  Many times people just want to voice their opinion and walk away from the conflict.  I teach my clients that there may be more possibilities …

This is my first blog…I know “Welcome to the 21st Century Candy!” I just used to email all my friends and clients to communicate but I think I’m going to like this way better…so comment back! My blogs will be one of three categories:

** I might throw in a combo!

For this blog I want to start out with a combo of caramel and cotton.

What brought you JOY at 5 years old and what brings you JOY now?

If you ask my friends and family what my goal, intent or resolution is this year they would tell you, “She is all about JOY.” I decided I wanted to seek more joy by surrounding myself with joyful pictures and decor in my house. I have placed pictures of my husband and me laughing in my front entry way so when folks come in the front door they see laughter.

I am also analyzing who I am hanging out with…who brings me joy and who does NOT. Just some food for thought, I have (as my brother and I call it) “released” some folks from my life. Was this hard? …

Hey managers, supervisors, directors, team leads…LEADERS! Why are you keeping people in your organization who are KEEPING your good people down or better yet, running your good people off?

Here’s a Rock Candy thought:

Why ARE you keeping team members?

Attitude-What is the team member’s attitude?

Results-What impact does this attitude have on the results of the organization/team?

Environment-What is this team member doing to your organizational environment?

I work with organizations across the country, whether I present a keynote, breakout or my executive retreat I always hear at least one story about that ONE person that is not being held accountable for their actions or lack of action and that ONE person is stifling attitudes, productivity and general morale. Why do we keep them?

• They are getting ready to retire?
• They are a good friend?
• They have been here for so long?
• They are the boss’s friend/relative?

Have I hit a nerve? What are your thoughts? I work with lots of people and I do lots of research but I would love to have your input, opinion, and your thoughts on the subject. With the fall of the economy I can’t believe we are still keeping these morale crushers and getting rid of the good ones. Or the good ones are taking the opportunity to escape……your thoughts?

I think laughing is right up there with breathing and food. I believe in so much that everywhere you turn in my home you either see the word “LAUGH” or see a picture of someone in the family laughing. You know when you laugh, that one little giggle releases serotonin, the feel good hormone…why not laugh and you are burning calories! Sometimes I get super busy with keynote proposals, emails, marketing or phone calls and I forget to just laugh! So I go play with my dogs, call my grandbabies or tease my husband. It works and sometimes laughing is a much needed break

Cotton Candy tip:

Surround yourself with things, pictures or just the word “LAUGH” to remind yourself to lighten up, life is too short. Quit being so serious